Why I missed Wordless Wednesday

Yesterday I missed Wordless Wednesday. I got up a little later than usual and Jaime would not go to the bathroom  right away while on our walk and  I ran out of time to post my pic because I had to go to 'work'.  So it was her fault.   I had a really good pic to post that I took several years ago on one of my many trips up Rt 13.  I guess I'll have to save it for the next Wordless Wednesday.

Yesterday was  my last day of training before work starts next week.  After training I visited the school I'll be  working at,  to introduce myself  to my new teachers (I'll be working with 3 teachers) and to read the students plans and files that I will be working with.

This year, I will be working with elementary school age students and from what I found out, I will have some biters, kickers, punchers, & spitters.  It's better that I know this going in than to be surprised when I arrive.  I am excited and a tad bit nervous.

This year,  everyone will be out the door to school and we are shutting the doors to our "home-school". Most of the crew is happy about the transition.   I have mixed emotions but more than anything I feel  that the school we found is a great fit for our family.

I'm excited to see where this bend in the road will  lead us and who we will meet along the way.

Yesterday was my first official day back to work.  8 hours of training at the convention center.  My brain was a little fried by the time I got home and now I'm preparing to do it all again.

Shortly after getting home all of us were in the car heading to orientation for Rocco,Noahkeem, and Dolly.  I found out that Dolly has to wear a "uniform" of some sort, which I thought I read the exact opposite in the student hand book.

 I kept asking myself, "Really?" 

It got to the point where I nissed some of the things that were being said during the meeting because my mind was was bent toward remembering what I read in the hand book and I knew that I did not read anything about uniforms for Kindergartners. I have yet to check my hard copy.

I don't think I had one moment yesterday to think any thoughts that belonged to me except:

• I'm hungry.
• I really wanted to go to another session.
• How long til the break?
• Is it raining outside?
• What are the kids doing?
• Am I going to pass the assessment test?
• What will my new students be like?

If you asked me what I learned yesterday, I can only say I learned a lot about relationships and crisis intervention.  If you ask me in a couple days, I probably could give you more details.  Sad to say.....or maybe not so sad to say, only 2 things stood out for me the entire day.

                            "When people don't feel safe they manipulate people and places".

The other thing is what I realized on my drive home from orientation, the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep last night, and the first thing that I thought about when I woke up this morning:

                                                           I am redeemed.

Shoe shopping day

The littles are back in town, and the volume in the house is cranked up again.  Of course I was happy to get all of my hugs and hear about how exciting their vacation was.  From what I heard there was some shopping, lots of laughs, and swimming. Noahkeem was sure to tell me that he swam in the pool without a noodle & he swam  in the  deep end . Huge accomplishment for him!

Dolly complained that she had nothing to drink in the car the entire ride home. She reminded me of this periodically through the day each time she would have something to drink or when she was thirsty.  Poor girl, right?  She was really milking it.

Cookie had a  belated birthday skating party/sleepover last night--even after being in the car half the day traveling back home. Pick up time is in less than one hour.  Needless to say, no guests have been downstairs today, I guess they are still knocked out. Does this mean I don't have to cook breakfast?

As soon as her friends leave we are hightailing it to a few shoe stores.  Noakeem & Dolly have the honor of being in a wedding in about 8 days and the shoes are the last thing I have to get-at least for them anyway.

  Shoe shopping is always interesting for us.  We end up trying on a whole lot of shoes, some one always wants more  pairs than we came  to get, and somewhere along the way I loose the "Mom of the Year" award because I either didn't get the cool impractical shoes they wanted or I end up having to threaten them with early bedtime or loss of privileges.

But for the most part, they usually behave when we go shopping.  I really should'nt complain.  Instead I'm keeping my fingers crossed and trying to make it back home before lunch time.

A place called home

I told myself that I wouldn't blog about the saga of selling this house and so I stopped blogging about it.  Right now, I have to blog about it.  We lowered our price---again!  I can't say I have mixed emotions because I know what emotions I have and they are not mixed.

I high tailed it yesterday and cleaned and picked up the house as fast as I could for 2 hours straight (with one iced tea break).    As I was cleaning tubs and wiping down counter tops, I thought to myself "Man, its been really hard keeping the house in showable condition with four kids, and the kids aren't even here now and it's still hard".

As I wiped down the mirrors (7 in total but I forgot to clean 4 of them... do the math), I thought I really need to revisit the flylady and get back on schedule with cleaning and maintaining until we sell. 

I was hoping that since it was the first buyer to come through since we lowered our price that they would submit an offer but, no deal.  The agent texted us and said that they buyer didn't like the lay out of our house.  That was putting it nicely.. I'm sure he/she had more to say than that.

So no deal. Bummer.  People keep telling me that if the Lord wanted me to move it would have happened already.  People keep telling me that things will  work out ...somehow... someday.  Then others just listen and don't offer any consolation.. and believe it or not, I kind of like that sometimes.

I am not sad, or worried.. I actually feel at peace- despite the reality.  I still have a place to lay my head at night, a beautiful lake to enjoy, and a place to call home.  No matter where this chapter takes me, I know that somehow, God will always take care of me.

Wordless Wednesdays

Pursuing peace with a book of stamps

I'm always telling the kids to say sorry to one another when they wronged the other person.  It usually goes like this " I'm sorry ___________".


Then I ask "For what?"

Then they say, "I'm sorry ________ for ___________. Please for give me".   Sometimes this is accompanied by rolling of the eyes.

The other person usually says, "I forgive you".  The other person sometimes cuts off the other and says "I forgive you",  before the apology is complete.  (which is annoying to the one who had the courage to apologize in the first place and to the mother who is facilitating the reconciliation).  I'm hoping that when they are adults that they would be quick to apologize and even quicker to apologize.

I usually don't like apologizing to people.. so I try my best to watch my mouth (Still learning that art) so I don't say things that I regret and have to go back and apologize for.

Here is today's confession:  I did something hard today. 

While doing what I did I walked away wondering whether or not I was  just a sucker for the hard way out or am I just concerned about how my Father (God) feels? Or maybe just hungry for peace.   Deep down inside I think I just want to end this year with less broken relationships than I had when the new year  rolled in.

What was the hard thing I did today?  I bought a book of stamps.  

What's the big deal about buying a book of stamps, right?  Well I bought them in hopes that I will do what I know I have to do &  write the people I need to write, forgive those that I don't think deserve it, and beat down my pride  and ask for forgiveness where necessary.

At first I thought that perhaps it's a little passive aggressive to write a letter instead of picking up the phone.  But I went ahead with the voice in my head and bought the stamps anyway.   I really  can't expect my little people to go around forgiving and asking for forgiveness if I'm  running in the opposite direction.

I don't know what the outcome will be.  But whatever the outcome I will rest  in knowing that I did all I could to make things right.


"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" Romans 12:18

If its possible to measure clothes in gallons, I have to say that I packed up at least 78 gallons of clothing.   I went through Dolly's room, the boys room and my room, put tons and tons of clothes in the bags to give away.  I could not believe all the things  that we held onto-even when they no longer fit. Wow.... isn't that interesting? That we hold onto things even when they no longer fit?   I'll have to say that one for another post, another time.

Anyhow, every toy that was broken was tossed, unopened toys  and toys outgrown packed up.  I don't think any of this stuff will be missed.  I'm trying to make as much progress as I can while the kids are away.  I should go to bed since I've been at this since the crack of dawn.  I did take a break (zipping into about 8 clothing stores) in the evening but, as soon as I got back home, I started working again.  It seems I have too many projects lined up and not enough time.. I  guess I'll just have to do what I can and save the rest for the elusive tomorrow.

Insomnia

People tell me that if you have insomnia, chances are you are worried about something.  I can't really think of anything on my radar that I am worried about... well maybe one thing  that would have me up late this night.

The crew is going to the Garden State in about 5 hours to visit their grandparents for a few days---without any parents.  They are super excited about their vacation and I'm excited about getting some projects down and getting a little break.    Even though they have been talking about how they are going to go swimming, hang out with their cousins, and watch all the cable TV they can,  Dolly and Noahkeem  broke down and cried this evening  because they are going to miss their Mommy and Daddy.  It will be the crews first trip without us. 

Nothing makes my heart sink more than to see one of the littles sad and crying-let alone 2 of the littles.  When I see the sadness on their little faces, it  just chokes me up.  I love them so much.  Is this how God feels about us?

 I hugged little Dolly and rubbed her back.  I told her how I  will miss her too and how I already miss her ( I know, real helpful, right?).  I told her how much fun she will be having and that if she is sad,  and wants to talk to me, she can call me anytime of day-or night. ( I know that this is definitely how God feels).  Noahkeem got a hug too and they both were soon off to bed laughing and excited once again about their trip.

After they left the room I prayed.  I prayed that God would keep them safe, comfort them when they are sad, help them  to feel loved & secure, help them to have a wonderful time,  and to return them safely home when their trip is over.  I guess I just need to trust that God can and  will, and perhaps then my sleep will come.

How many times do I have to say it?

Part of being a parent is repeating yourself over and over again until your little angels get the message.  I know they speak & comprehend English.  Yet I still find myself repeating the same thing day after day.

How many times do I have to say:

• Stop!
• Stop it!
• Don't climb on the couch.
• Don't sit on the arm of the couch.
• Put the pillows back on the couch.
• Don't sit on the dog bed.
• Don't lay in the dog bed.
• Brush your teeth.
• Eat your food.
• Come here.
• Put your shoes away.
• Put your shoes on.
• Clean up your room.
• Clean up your crumbs.
• Turn the TV off.
• Turn the volume up.
• Turn the volume down.
• Put the remote control on the shelf.
• Buckle up.
• Go to bed.
• Get up.

I'm sure if I had all day there would be tons more I could add to the list.  I wonder if the kids are wondering how many times they have to say:

• Mom
• Mom
• Mom
• Mom
• Mom

   Do they get tired of repeating themselves?  Probably not.

The more I see how quickly the summer has passed, the more I think about the new school year beginning.  

I just assumed because I was told at the end of my summer school assignment of budget cuts, and no ability to make promises for placement, I would begin the school year without an assignment for the first several weeks and then  calling into my job each day to see what substitute assignment available for that day, and continue to do that until something long term opened up. Doing that can be nerve wracking because I leave the  house a different time everyday, and come home a different time everyday.  Unless of course I work at the same school several days in a row.

Calling in every morning means that I have to be up and ready to leave out the door at 6:15am.  That also means I have to have things organized so that the little people are set for the day and that the morning has minimal interruptions. (Not an easy task with 4 kids).

But then it happened. Last night after getting home from a day filled with  driving from one end of the city and back several times, I checked the mail.  The first thing I noticed was a white envelope with a bright orange logo on it and I knew immediately, my days of calling in to find out where I would go  for the school day were over!

After telling Cookie I got the letter, I opened it up quickly as I stood in the driveway.  I had been hoping  praying  for a long term assignment for the upcoming school year for quite a while  and that is exactly what I got !   The letter extended an invitation to me to attend orientation  at the end of the month-breakfast included.

I don't know exactly what school I will be in  but I know I will be in my local district and  not some town 30 minutes away (Just saying).  Needless to say,  I am extremely excited  to be starting this new adventure. I'm so excited that God answers prayer.  I'm grateful to God for his continued faithfulness in my own little corner of the world.

"Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place". 2 Corinthians 2:14

Wordless Wednesdays

Unexpected Showers of Hope

Yesterday afternoon, I went to a Bridal shower of a dear friend.  The room was filled with women honoring one special soon to be married lady.  There were a lot of laughs, smiles, hugs and many heartfelt wishes of love and happiness. The room was filled with excitement as we celebrated the start of  a new journey for the Bride.

Over and over I heard words like happiness, joy, love, and  marriage. I heard phrases like "your new life together", "good thing" and "knight in shining armour".  As I sat and listened and watched women come to the front of the room to tell the honored guest what a blessing she has been to them and how they wished her her own "happily ever after", my heart was starting to melt.

I thought about my own marriage.  I thought about my own journey of craziness, highs and lows with the one I married.    The more talk I heard about love, the more I thought about  when I was first married and how everything was new, beautiful and exciting.  As  the guests expressed their happiness, I felt more hope for  my own covenant.

At one point, I wished that I could run home and turn back the big imaginary clock of time and do so many things over.  I wished that we could renew our vows and start all over again, without pain, without regret.  I knew in my heart, my feet would never get me home fast enough.  I knew in my heart that even if I made it home, there would be no clock whose hands I could turn back.

I used to wonder during the bad times why the *#$@ did I get married in the first place?  My answer to myself now is that entering into a covenant is committing to a process  of refining & transformation. Refining and transformation can sometimes be a hard and painful process. There are things beautiful and not so beautiful that only our partners can pull out of us.  Its the  not so beautiful things that God wants to work out of us and for whatever reason, He will use our partners to bring it to the surface...because He loves us and wants us to grow in love for Him and for each other.  That takes a life time.

After those who wanted to speak and express their feelings to the Bride were finished, the Bride then stood up and shared a little of her heart and her appreciation for her guests.  Listening to her voice, and story of where she was and  how she will soon  be walking down the aisle, my heart was  all the more excited for her and all the more hopeful for me.

Who goes to  a Bridal shower expecting to be filled with hope? Who goes expecting places in their heart to be melted toward their partner? Who goes to a shower,  expecting the Guest of Honor to say one thing and hear the Holy spirit whisper 10 other things, to  the hidden places of  your heart?  Is God so invested in our lives and so committed to our happiness, and process of change that He will quietly enter the room of women at a Bridal shower and bring unexpected showers of hope?

Today, I am holding on firmer to truth and hope as He says, "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh, is there anything to hard for me?"

   

Irene

I'm back.  I will spare you the gorey details but let's say that I had a 'hiccup' in my health.  Or we could just be truthful and say that part of that hiccup had me doubled over in pain for hours on end begging God to help me and not to let me die in pain.  I pretty much felt that labor was much easier than what I was experiencing.  It was pretty bad.

I can't say my life flashed before me but, I remember saying I don't want to die a painful death.  I want to know when death is coming.  I want to be prepared.  I don't want  death to sneak up on me as it does in a sudden illness or a freak car accident or being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Yesterday I went to the grocery store-early. Sometimes I go to the grocery store very early in the morning to get what ever the little people need before they wake up or before I go to work.  Because I felt better yesterday, I ventured out to the store to grab a few things.  When it was time to check out I noticed my cashier- yes, I said my cashier, Irene's light was not on.  The first thing I said to myself was, "Where is Irene?"   I needed her to check me out. I looked around for her but, no Irene.

Irene is a short lady with dark hair, that's slightly feathered. Maybe she is about 60 or so.  She wears gold rimmed glasses and the lenses are slightly thick- but not obnoxiously magnifyingly thick.  She has a bit of an accent.  Maybe Italian? Maybe from New York?  I don't know.  I like her because she keeps the line moving, never has a bad attitude, laughs at herself on the rare occasion that she makes a mistake and she's there early and seems like she wants to be.  She is usually at register 3.

I didn't see her light on so I went to another register to check out.  A woman on a scooter came up behind me and as she put her stuff up on the conveyor, I heard her say to the cashier, "I'm so sorry about Irene". I turned to the girl who was bagging my groceries and asked if Irene passed away.  She then said yes. I sighed heavily as she told me that she died on Tuesday.   I left the store in shock.  While I was begging God not to let me die on Tuesday, Irene was dying if not already dead.

How could this happen ?  She looked fine to me.  She didn't appear sick or anything.  Later I found out that although she looked young, she was about 10-12 years older than I thought she was. She had some heart issues during the year and on Tuesday, she had a heart attack and died.  Shocked and upset I found myself crying as I drove back home.  I found myself talking to God about Irene and death.  I know that we all have to die but, I hate this part of  "life".  I absolutely hate it.

I love the promise and the joy a newborn brings, and how they develop into little people with vocabulary and personality and then grow into adults.  I hate that somewhere along the time line, they die.  Some die peacefully in their sleep, others brutally, and others just unexpectedly. 

Why on earth God does death throw us for such a loop?  Why is it that we wish we showed people how much we thought of them or appreciated them or loved them after they are gone from this earth?  Why is it that we vow each time someone we know dies that we are going to be better people, love more,  forgive me, and live each day like its our last?  How is it that we quickly forget those vows when we slowly but surely get caught up in our own lives again?  Why does death and the brevity of life catch us off guard time and time again?

Why would the news of Irene's death move me to tears?  A cashier who I didn't know much about? Could it be she was just a tiny drop of normal in my life?  A smiling face I liked to see at the grocery store? Could it be that I liked the small talk at the register and that she remembered me when I came in?  Could it be that I considered myself her customer and sought her out to get on her line each time I came into the store?  Could it be that when she told me to have a good day at work or  said thank you to me that I actually believed her? 

I feel foolish telling myself each time someone dies to love people more and do better,  forgive quickly & live each day like its my last.  For me I always seem to fail at that.   Because in my heart, I feel that eventually, that voice will get softer and softer as the details of my life begin to take over again.  Only for that voice to resurface again  even louder when the next person dies. I will however ask myself, if I gave or with held love today.  Did I give the compliment I wanted to give, did I hold my tongue when the easy thing to do was to lash out?  Did I listen with my eyes? Did what I say and do today let others know how important they are to me and to our world? Did I tell others how much they bring to the table?  How much I appreciate them?  How beautiful they really are?  Will I soon forget all of this and wait for death to catch me off guard again, and wish I did life differently with those I care about the most?

My heart goes out to Irene's family, customers and co-workers.  She will be greatly missed.

Resting

I'm taking a much needed rest. Please enjoy some of my archives located on the right hand side of the screen.  Will be back in a few days.  Please keep checking back.

Sunday

I've been working my second job since the summer job I applied for when summer school ended didn't seem to take flight.  "Going to work" should be easy since there is no commute & I work from  home as an Independent Contractor.  This morning I was supposed to start my work @ home assignment @ 5:40 am, and when I looked at the clock it said 6:08 am!!!!  I didn't panic I simply got up- off of the couch, (because the dog was crying early this morning to go out prior to my shift and I let her out and stayed in my "home office" next to my alarm clock -so I wouldn't wake up late- go figure!) logged on, put my headset on, and waited for my first call. My alarm was set for 5am, I guess I just didn't hear it when it went off.  

Yesterday,  I did get up on time. I worked from 5:40a.m. till after 8:00am.  By 9:15am I was back in bed and woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon!  I had all intentions of going to the beach yesterday morning & before I knew it, half the day was gone! Maybe, just maybe, I was tired.

I keep picking this early start time because its the only time when the house is the most quiet and it gives me enough time to walk the dog and get set for my day. I thought about working at night but, my wonderful headset's ringer volume is loud, even if I set it at low. But as  I think about it, I can't deal with the dog waking up, making noise,  and prancing around for me to take her outside while I'm talking calls. I guess I could keep her in her crate and take calls and answer as soon as I hear the phone ring.  But, she's already barked one time during an assignment and I agreed with the company that I contracted with that I would have no background noise. (I wonder if people ever hear the microwave beeping or my tv in the background..I wonder).

I was hoping to jump back into bed this morning but, being the chef that I am, I bought "stuff" last night to make lasagna for today's meal. ( I only make one gigantic meal on Sunday so people can graze from  the time we get home from church til the kitchen is shut down for the evening). The little people will be looking for food when they come home, so I have to cook but, I really don't feel like cooking! I want to take  a nap.

This morning is one of those mornings that I wish I had a clone that would whip up the food and toss it into the oven and take it out when its done, serve it, refill everyones drinks,load & run the dishwasher, empty it, and wipe down the table & countertops, sweep the floor, & then come find me, and bring me a decafe mocha latte & the sunday paper, when she is done.

Going back to bed.  Now where did I put my alarm clock?

A few things before I jump into my Saturday

• I used to pride myself on being the grammar police and after reading over some past posts I have to give myself several citations for starting sentences with prepositions, giving way to tons of run on sentences & not spotting silly little spelling mistakes even after I "proof read" the post before publishing.

• I took down my controversial facebook wall post.  I guess I couldn't handle the stardom,fame and popularity that accompanied the post.  Truthfully I didn't quite have adequate staff to sort through all of the fan mail that followed.   I learned from a dear friend that social media is not the best venue for "discussion".   I will leave it at that.
• Pride (and I don't mean the kind that says, "Hey, I'm proud of you") is like a little yippy  toy dog. Most of the time we entertain it &  reward it, Sometimes we  hardly notice that its there.  The other half of the time,  when we are doing whatever it is we do, it rises up, usually when we are setting records straight or being larger than life,  biting at our ankles, jumping up and down, yipping and yapping at us and at that point without thinking we either give it a bone that reinforces its behavior or we shake our finger at it and say, "Down Pride! Down".  (Hoping that it will obey us until we can get a better handle on it).
• I discovered this week that Wasabi is awesome with almonds, tortilla chips, crackers & mozzarella sticks.
• I also found out that  if you're not careful Wasabi will make you feel like your nose is on fire and your eyes are about to pop out of your head.
• Wasabi just might be the cure for the common cold.
• I found out that the world is really small.  Last night at Jason's Deli, as I am talking about Noahkeem's JC Penny hair cut, who rolls up in the place and gets on line?  THE WOMAN WHO CUT HIS HAIR!!!!!!! We of course said, "Hi".  I watched her face as she glanced at all the people at my table. Given the look on her face,   I'm sure she was probably thinking, "Dag, I didn't know she had all those kids!"
• I waited all winter for summer to get here and now I want the fall to come quickly so that I can wear my new boots that I got at the end of the season sale.
• A point of progress:  I think of my Sebrena now and most of the time I smile. Thinking back to when she passed away and how it devastated me, I thought the day would never come where I would be able to smile at memories of her.  I still miss her.  I still love her. I sometimes cry but,  I'm a lot less sad. 
• Happy Saturday... make it count.

Of God and Politics

What is it about God and Religion that gets people so revved up?   What is it about Politics that causes this passion to  rise to the surface and often reach the point of anger?

There is something about these two subjects that draw us to proclaim to whoever will listen or entertain our ideas that we are going to show, tooth & nail, that we are right. We are right about God and we are right about Politics.   As a matter of fact, we are going to exercise a self given attribute called: "The right, to be right".

God is a being that I bring up quite a bit.  Politics is a subject that I participate in  with only a few.  I give my opinion if I am asked, I sometimes initiate conversations about politics but, I never "fight" about the issues or assasinate the character of the candidate.   I just don't feel the need to. (And that is not because I do not care).

I have been in rooms with many hot political debates going on. I have seen  fairly reserved, intelligent  people break out of their mold and get down right furious, turn red, and end "conversations" by telling the opposing party affiliate what an idiot they are or how blind and dumb they are for believing what they believe. (Now that's impressive).

The truth is until we die, we will always have political and religious opinions that people will disagree with.  It isn't our job to bash people because they believe that Obama is the greatest president that ever lived or George Bush is the greatest president that ever lived.   Both of these men have had some incredible accomplishments occur during their administrations and both of these men have had some disasters.  No one president is the Messiah who will save us from the mess our country is in.

Yesterday I posted something politically driven on my Facebook page (which I'm contemplating taking down) without giving my direct opinion about it to see what kind of "conversation" it would spark.  Some  people "liked" it, others did not say anything, and a few engaged in  their feelings about the matter.  

  

Interestingly enough yesterday I spoke with a woman who said that sometimes hearing, reading and seeing things in the media in regards to politics sometimes gets to be too much for her.  It becomes  intense information overload.  She then shuts down every stream of  media and then chooses to focus on what she considers real issues, like the hungry family around the corner that no one pays attention to because everyone is  too busy dissecting which candidate won't turn over his tax records, which candidates birth certificate is not  valid and who doesn't care for certain lifestyles  and who feels cheated and wants equal rights. Those things to a certain degree are important. But what about the issues in front of our faces that we ignore?

The conclusion (if there is even one) that I have come to is that bashing has never convinced me or  any one  else I know to change "religions" or political party affiliations".   You showing me about how much you know about the ugliness of the Republican Party will not convince me to rally with the Democrats.  You exposing how shady the Democrat party is will not convince me to join the Junior Republican Women's League. So where do I stand ?

I have been in "seasons" (really beginning to be annoyed by that word), where I have had to vote for the lesser of 2 evils.  I have in times past  have voted for people who's names were rarely in the media, and were not one of the top two on the ballot.  I vote issues, not party. I guess I'm non-partisan.  Some would beg to differ.

What about God? Most of my readers and friends know how I feel about God.  Most know enough about me that I don't even venture to argue about God.  I have had enough experience of Him "showing up" that confirms to me His existence.  I certainly do not have all of the answers to why things are the way they are in this life but, it does not diminish the fact that there is a real God and whether or not someone believes in Him, mentioning him in debates and "conversations" evokes something within us that causes us to want to run to Him or away from Him.  I really haven't had heard of that same effect on people when they speak of other "gods". Mmmmm, why is that ?

I guess I always had an issue with people flying off at the mouth exercising their right to free speech when it comes to God/religion  and Politics in that often those same people are not involved in local politics in their own community and those same people are not involved in effecting the community spiritually in a positive way.  But they talk a good talk .

 Are we all guilty of  trash talking  exercising free speech and not  remotely trying to get involved with the issues of local government  that would impact us first before the national issues would even touch us?

Are we all guilty of practicing the freedom of religion, our right to worship God or a god, or not to worship at all so much so that we are not concerned about our neighbors who need the hope of  God or who may need a  helping hand period?   

Are we really doing what we can be doing to bring about change in our neighborhood or  our world or are we just exercising our rights?  Something I will be thinking about.

My 2:30 appointment

Today I was going to post about my experience getting Noahkeem his free hair cut @ JC Penny today.  For the month of August they are giving kids a complimentary hair cut.  As I was recanting the details of our visit, and keeping and eye on dinner at the same time, my inner voice convinced me to  change my mind and not  post our experience.

Instead I have to say:

Sorry to  my special anonymous reader who was looking forward to hearing the tale of how a reformed Jersey girl had enough self control not to flip tables or  workstations over like a New Jersey Housewife. 

A very special thank you to whoever had the idea to offer these free hair cuts in the first place.  You will bless so many people this month.

A very special thank you to James Cash Penny.  Who I was told by my former pastor-from New Jersey, that he was a God fearing, tithe paying man, and is believed to still be in business long after his death because of his commitment to give as much as he did, beyond the tithe. Now that's another post for another day.

Play Ball!

Two nights ago, I took the little people to a minor league baseball game.  I made sure I fed them before we left because I didn't want to hear them ask for every single thing that every concession stand offered.  They still asked for stuff.  I knew they would.  They had fries, popcorn, dippin' dots ice cream, funnel cake, and a mega soda.  I forgot my drink in the car and I wasn't about to spend over a dollar for a bottled water so I went without. I was good, I wasn't dying of thirst.

Last year I learned that during any one given game, "they" go through about 60-70 balls.  The number seems a little high but,  that's what I was told.  It seemed unreal because I never see that many balls being passed to the pitcher.  Then again, I usually talk and laugh during the games and don't always see all of the action. 

I hadn't planning on keeping the crew out til midnight but, the game ran into overtime and at the end of each game, kids ages 5-12 are allowed to run the bases.  Since the kids fit perfectly into that age group, why not, right?

As we were yelling, cheering for the wrong team, half paying attention, watching the balls fly into the stands, something amazing happened.  The kids were in the section in front of me, but within hollering distance and all of a sudden a ball came flying from the field into their section.  I watched as a small heard of kids charge for the ball, and I then yelled at Rocco telling him to "GET THAT BALL!"  As the heard broke up and began to walk away who but Rocco, stood up in the middle of the crowd and held up the ball high above his head?  I heard someone yell, "YEAH!! THAT'S My BOY... THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN" 'BOUT!!" It was a voice I recognized, and as I saw him coming toward my section I realized, that it was my own loud mouth  praising my Rocco! I was so so proud of him!

We (including the row of 20 somethings behind me) cheered, yelled and as if he made a home run!  Long story short, because we did this until he climbed back to our section, and maybe cheered  a little longer than what people normally do. By the time he reached me, I think he was completely embarrassed (and happy at the same time).

A couple innings later, another ball comes flying into the section.  This time Noahkeem goes running for it and some big kid got it before him and Noahkeem comes running back to me, crying.  I assumed he was just sad that he didn't get the ball. He showed me his hand and said, "He stepped on me!"  His little had was red!  I felt bad for him.  I hugged him.  I couldn't make him any promises that he will have better luck next time and get the next ball. That would be a promise I could not deliver.

What happens next? Somewhere near the 8th inning, we moved to the section to the right of the dug out and (closer to the field). Another player hits the ball and its a foul and the wonderful ref, threw it into the dug out.  The crowd moaned in disappointment, because he chose not to throw it into the stands.  Out of the corner of my eye I see a hand sticking out of the dug out shaking the dusty ball.  Some old guy-the only guy in the front row next to the dug out motioned to Rocco to come quick.  I thought to myself, "I taught the kids not to talk to strangers, what did this man want with my son?, what is he going to do to him?"

  Rocco hesitated- I'm assuming because he had the same thought process, but went over when the old guy said, " Come here quick, he wants to give you the ball".  Rocco went over quickly with a smile on his face and grabbed the ball out of the anonymous player's hand  that was sticking out of the dug out and said thank you.

I thought to myself, "TWO BALLS IN ONE NIGHT? My son got two balls in one night? "  I then silently asked God, "Is this you showing up again God?" "Is this more of your favor, that we would get 2 balls in one night?"  "Did you see that Noahkeems little hand got stepped on, and you wanted to hand deliver a ball to him?"  "Thank you, God, I think you made his night".

After Rocco got over his excitement of the second ball, and with little persuading, I kindly asked him if he would give the ball to his bro, and with out blinking an eye he did.  I thought Noahkeem was gonna jump out of the ballpark.  His eyes lit up, and he was bursting with excitement, because he too had a ball!  By this time, his hand didn't hurt and all he could think about was this ball in his hand!   He had a dusty ball that touched the field, that was actually  in play, and was hand delivered- just for him.  So happy for him!

I'm thanking God today that He leaves no one out, that he never forgets, and that every once in a while He hand delivers the goods.