Remembering 9/11

I didn't realize that tomorrow will be September 11th until I heard someone mention it on the radio.

I thought back to how a normal 20 minute commute into Manhattan turned into an 8 hour ordeal of my husband trying to get home on that very scary day.  I remember calling him and telling him what was going on  and telling him to get near a tv @ his office.  I remember him calling me and telling me that he was going to try to come home.  I remember the next call from him telling me that he and a mass of people were trying to walk to the George Washington Bridge to get to our side but, the city shut the bridge down.  

 I remember when he finally made it home.

News broadcast after news broadcast flashed the horrific images across the screen and  each time I watched I was horrified.   I couldn't even wrap my brain around  the fact that another plane went down that day, increasing the lives lost.

I remember going to Weehawkin, NJ and standing on the pier and watching the smoke billowing even 2 weeks after the tragedy.  I remember feeling sick at the thought of how many people loss their lives.

I thought back to how my husband proposed to me at  the World Trade Center Marriott and how  it's no longer there.  For many years, I wondered whether or not  everyone made it out  of the hotel before it collapsed. Or if some loss their lives while sleeping or in the shower-unaware of what was going on around them. 

I remember the day I finally went back  into Manhattan.  I recall  seeing  so many  memorials, flowers candles, letters and cards that covered the sidewalk and  wrought iron gates of  St. Paul's Chapel near Ground Zero.

I was speechless with  grief and could not stop my tears no matter how hard I tried.

I can't even imagine the grief of those who lost someone they loved that day.  I can't imagine how they did life through the grief.

I can't imagine how some did not get a chance to say good bye or I love you.

I can't imagine how quickly or slowly the victims entered into eternity. 

I can't imagine boarding a plane, or going to work, never to return.

I can't imagine deciding to jump out of an office building window, because the thought of burning to death or dying in the collapse of a very hot, fiery, dark smoke filled building  was the lesser of the tragic ways to die.

I can't imagine being trapped and surrounded by screams for help.

I can't imagine calling my family to say goodbye and hoping that  the call doesn't go to voicemail.

This September 11th I will be thanking God, for the gift of life, praying for His continued protection for my country and those that I love. I will be  praying for those still grieving, and praying for our enemies.

This day we will never forget.