Homesick?

After college, I had no intention of returning home. I was done with being at home and ready to be an adult (so I thought) and get far away from where I grew up.   I got a job working  at the corporate headquarters of a bank, as a credit rep processing retail credit card applications.  I banked every paycheck  and found a great apartment a month before my last semester in college ended. 

I was so proud of myself.  I felt so accomplished, so free and so full of myself! Not a single care in the world.  My plan was on point and I made it out of school with zero student loans (thanks to my hard working mother).  I was happy to be 20 minutes outside the buzz of Manhattan and not  back in my hometown where I felt there was nothing for me.

But now many years and 500 miles later, I want to go home. Just for a quick minute. Not for a super extended stay.   I cant imagine that what I feel is homesickness because it hasn't been home for me for so many years. Does that really matter?

Does time and distance erase the connection that we have with a place that was such a huge part of us? With a place that helped shape us into who we are today? Does time and distance make us forget the negative experiences, the places that gave us a sense of peace, people that made us laugh, people that disappointed  us, people that took care of us?

Will going home make me appreciate where I am from and where I am now? Will going home make me want to hurry back to the place I now call home?  Will going home answer my questions or create new ones? 

Maybe I'm homesick...maybe not.  There's only one way to find out.