More than Money

A dear homeschooling friend has been teaching Cookie French in her home since September. This has been a blessing to me & Cookie since she enjoys French sooo much. I have been searching for ways to "pay her" for teaching but she wouldn't accept money from me the entire school year. She had a yard sale last month and was selling tons of fabric. She showed me a piece of toile that she wanted curtains made out of for her bathroom- so of course I jumped right on it. It took me a couple days and voile! 1 pair of curtains made with love, with out a pattern, by my hands. I was so excited to give them to her and hang them for her that I probably could have been committed to the nearest psych ward. It still makes me smile when I see my "french tuition payment creation" hanging from her window. (although the window they are hanging from in the picture is in my playroom- I had to hang them in my house first to make sure they would look good in hers). It was like Christmas for the both of us.

Speaking of Casting Cares

How hard is it to cast your cares on the Lord when you want things fixed in a certain way and instantly? I guess it's as hard as trying to reconcile the fact that God is closer than we think He is and loves us more than we believe He does. The biggest fear is that God's response will be similar to those on earth and that is : "He won't come through for me".

I stopped making New Years resolutions years ago. I just set goals around my birthday, September and January. It's funny because some of these goals center around the "cares" I should be casting on Him. My latest stress has been obsessing about what history Curriculum to do and what Enrichment classes to enroll my 2 older children in . Older- that's a misnomer since they are going to be 9 and 6. Yesterday after our awesome field day with our Home school Group, the more I thought about curriculum and Education I realized that I'm over thinking it - to the point of worry. Worried classes will be full, worried that the schedule will not work with 1 preschooler and a baby who will be to 2 1/2 by September, worried about so much more than this blog will allot for. By evening time, I realized that It will be okay and that my summer doesn't have to be stressful and that my September will be put in place by September. But yet there is still lots of major concern there. Does a mother's mind ever stop racing?

I decided that I would cast my cares on Him and try with all that is within me to believe that He will come through and Be true to His Word.

.... He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions."Daniel 6:26-28. If He can do all of that, I'm sure my case is no problem.

I've been thinking alot about transparency

Transparency is a mysterious thing. I assume most of us in this world desire authentic relationships. Quite often when we do become "real" or transparent, the pendulum of friendship can swing from one extreme to the next or in many wild and unexpected directions. We live in a society were you are "honored" if you appear to be healthy and strong and seem to have it all together.

Unfortunately we then become trapped in a cycle of keeping up appearances while clearly dying or struggling and in desperate need of help or just simply friendship. But, you can't ask for any of those for fear of appearing weak. The aftermath of becoming transparent reveals several things about yourself and those you become transparent with:

• You gain a friend- they embrace you.
• Or You lose a friend- they treat you like a leper.
• You quickly see what kind of friend you want to be to others.
• You realize that all the love that is advertised among well meaning do gooders is not what its all cracked up to be.
• You realize quickly who has your back and who is in your corner.
• Your combined experience either cause you to run to the Cross or curse God.

I am so overwhelmed that the God of the universe knows that life can be all consuming and reminds us gently to "Cast all of our cares upon him- because he cares for us". He will give wisdom to any one who asks for it. And because life is what it is, good or bad- He promises to never leave us nor forsake us. It takes more energy to be fake and live under the pretense that life is perfect than, to run to Jesus and cry out to Him. He is there to help and is mighty to save. Why do you think he came? When will we realize He is more than just a Bible story?

I just can't help it.

We have now adopted yet another "family member" A Betta fish who I call Austin and the kids call Jimmy. I am determined to keep him alive. I did however lay down the ground rules and I guess the only rule that I needed to : NO ONE PICK UP THE FISH LIKE THE LAST ONE THAT DIED! I'll have to post pics soon of my little Austin a.k.a. Jimmy.

As of late I have been mourning again over the loss of my beloved crock pot that died from unnatural causes (the cord melted in between the ceramic insert and the unit it sits in). I have come to grips with the fact that I probably won't find another like it and will have to succumb to buying one that is digital. I just really miss throwing stuff together and turning the crock pot on and forgetting about it. Stuff like chili, beef stew, roasted chicken, roast beef, chicken soup etc. I never got a chance to make other yummy stuff in it because her death was so unexpected. I found myself at Barnes and Noble the other night looking at tons of crock pot recipes that went beyond soups and stews and all I could ask myself was, "Why? Why did my crock pot have to die and why hadn't I replaced her by now? " Nevertheless, I got hold of myself before I started to curl up in the fetal position and ball like a baby, and made a decision, "I will get a new crock pot that is built like a tank and she will do her job just like my dearly departed Rival and my house will once again permeate with the aromas of delicious meals that take hours to cook but are so effortless to create". Ladies and Gentlemen, I need to go crock pot shopping.

Its Memorial Day weekend?

I can't believe so much time has lapsed since my last post. I'll just list the highlights of my life this month to get everyone up to speed:

• We adopted yet another hermit crab yesterday who Rocco named "Adam"
• Today, I realized I had no hermit crab food and decided to give him dry oatmeal which he seems to like- alot.
• My lilac colored inpatients have tripled in size yet, I managed to kill the sunflowers, basil, and perennial mix that I started in doors, last month.
• Mother's Day was great.. Noahkeem bought me a fuscia colored mini dress from Target, Rocco bought me chocolate and Cookie presented me with an award from the local Ruritan Club. A certificate recognizing me as one of the areas "Supermoms" along with the essay she wrote that granted the award.
• Mom's night out has turned into Mom's Consecutive Nights out and has caused me to sleep late on several week days. (bad mommy)
• Dolly seems to be only napping in the car.
• Cookie is starting to cook more in the kitchen. This month she made Tacos and Cous Cous.
• I got into the zoo for free today-although I still had to pay for the kiddos.
• I'm sure there is more but it is late and the brain has shut down for the evening-hours ago.

When I grow up

This week Noahkeem and I were snuggling on the bed and I asked him that famous question we ask all little ones, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" He paused, tilted his head to the side and looked up and said, "An Adult!" I laughed so hard and he joined me too. He made my day. You can't get any better than that! "A merry heart does good, like a medicine..." Proverbs 17:21.