But then I realized

Here is the light bulb moment. I am sure I have said it before. No self help book, manual, seminar is going to change you. You can read and read and bounce from one seminar or retreat to another but the only thing that will change a heart is the redeeming power and supernatural power of God. It is so much easier to pick up a book than the Bible or to get on the phone rather get on my knees. Somehow we think we can change things in our own power. Yet, I know in my heart it's only God that redeems, restores, delivers and gives second, third, fourth and fifth chances. David, in the Bible did not have a therapist when he was depressed or caught up in adultery. Reading the Psalms i'ts clear that he cried out to God. He just cried out. And God stil considered him a man after His own heart.

I am not done with this walk of Forgiveness yet. I must learn to forgive my imperfections and not to wallow in self pity. But what conversation do you have with your self when you need to forgive yourself? Do you say, "Self?"

and answer "Yes self."

then reply "would you please forgive me?"

and then say, "Yes, I forgive my self"?

The cry of my heart is still mercy. None of us will reach 100% perfection otherwise there will be no need for a Savior and definitely no need for us to be here. I am convinced that God has orchestrated our lives in such a way that he gives us ample opportunity to reach out and cry out to Him. He is so just that he gave us the choice to run to him or run away from him. Which will we choose today?